Christmas Presents for the Cullens
by SethCohenRocks-2009
Summary: does what it says on the tin
1. Chapter 1

Carlisle : House M.D DVD Box set - make it clear how much he reminds you of Dr. Chase.

Esme : A publishing deal - _Raising Emmett - Esme's Story _will be a bestseller.

Edward : Anger management classes - for when Jacob and Renesmee start to get serious.

Bella : Loud Rock Music - for when Jacob and Edward argue about when Renesmee is to come home.

Renesmee : A lead - for when she takes Jacob for walks.

Rosalie : A mirror - need I say more!!

Emmett : A superhero costume - it's time he used his powers for GOOD!

Jasper : Signed copies of the Harry Potter books and his very own wand - we all know he's a secret Harry Potter fan.

Alice : A life size doll - so she doesn't have to use Bella anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note - Hey peeps, as I got more reviews than I expected. I have decided to expand this story and will be writing a chapter for each of the presents.

I want to say thanks to the people who reviewed, added this story to their favourites and updates.

**RealMenDoSparkle **(love the name)

**MorganCullen1234 **

**MissMusicLover **

**cool-gal95 **

It may take me a while to update this story as I am busy also writing _**Renesmee in London. **_Remember I live on reviews.

Disclaimer - I do in no way own the Twilight Saga. As much as I love the books, SM left something out. I AM THE FORGOTTEN CULLEN SISTER!!!

Now onto the story!!

It had been a pretty uneventful day at the hospital which meant that the nurses at the hospital having nothing important to do, decided to spent most of the day flirting with Carlisle. As Carlisle drove up to his home he cringed at the memory of what had happened earlier in the day. One brave nurse tried to get him to leave his family and elope with him. Edward would laugh at that so much.

After parking his Mercedes in the garage, Carlisle ran up to the house. Eager to see his wife as always. When upon entering the living room he saw his entire family sitting either on one of the sofas or lying on the floor. "Hello everyone." he said, wondering what made them so silent.

"Shhhhh!" shouted all the other Cullens as they continued to watch the large plasma television screen. It went on like this for the next five minutes until there was a commercial break.

"We have three minutes." said Alice, telling the others when the show would continue.

"Are any of you going to tell me what is up?" asked Carlisle who still had no idea what was going on his own home.

"Edward, can you tell him? I'm going to go get something for Renesmee to eat." said Bella as she and her daughter went off into the kitchen.

"Emmett broke the TV."

"I did not!" Rosalie glared at her husband. "Well, okay I did but not permanently." Alice rolled her eyes.

"How did Emmett beak the television?" asked Carlisle.

"He lost to Jasper on Mariokart, so threw the wii remote at the TV. It stopped working completely but Rosalie managed to get it onto the TV channels again but it was stuck on this channel."

"So we started to watch this programme called House M.D. , a show about doctors and we all love it. We can change the channel now but we don't want to. There's an House marathon on." continued Alice.

"But you hate watching programmes about doctors, I can never get any of you to watch them with me!" replied Carlisle.

"Bella, Nessie, it will be back on in one minute!" shouted Alice.

"Just coming!" shouted Bella.

"Yeah Rose. He does a bit doesn't he?" said Edward as turned to face Rosalie.

"I knew it!"

"What?" asked Jasper and Emmett together.

"Think about whom does Carlisle look like?" asked Rose.

"Oh, now I get it." said Jasper as he figured it out.

"Me too! High five Jasper!" squealed Alice as she and her husband high fived.

"He does, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, he does Esme."

"I know!"

"Who then Emmett?" asked Jasper, regretting asking already.

"Cameron!"

Edward rolled his eyes. Laughter came from the kitchen. Bella and Nessie had heard the conversation in the lounge.

"What are you guys talking about?" asked Carlisle.

"You'll see." replied Esme, smiling at her husband.

"Ten seconds, everyone." All the Cullens were immediately sitting in their earlier positions, Carlisle sat down in-between his wife and granddaughter.

**Half an hour later…**

"I do not look like Chase!" shouted Carlisle and everyone laughed.

AN - Just in case you don't get why Carlisle reminds me of Dr. Chase from House M.D.

Here is the list of reasons:

He's a doctor

He's blonde

He has an awesome accent (AN- I know in the film Carlisle doesn't have a British accent and it isn't mentioned in the books. But I imagined he did. - Someone needs to represent Britain in the Twilight Saga.)

He's very smart (duh)


	3. Chapter 3

**AN - Hey everyone, I decided to write a chapter about Jasper's gift. Sorry for the long wait but here it is. Here are the peeps who made me happy: **

**anaa-pixie**

**CRAZEDREADER96**

**liv-twilight-edward-life**

**marykat**

**Remember I live on reviews. I am dedicating this chapter to Fred Weasley may he R.I.P!! **

**Disclaimer - Life is good I can't complain, I mean I could but no one's listening. Okay that's not a disclaimer it's part of a song by Aly and AJ. Okay, I need a disclaimer. Think… Think harder… Okay I'm stuck.**

**Emmett - What cha doing?**

**Me - I'm thinking of disclaimer.**

**Emmett - What about I can't own Emmett he's awesome!!**

**Me - Emmett that doesn't work. **

**Emmett - EDIKINS, JASPERINO!!**

**Edward - What Emmett?Jasper - What cha doing?**

**Me - Edward, if you say that I will kill Bella!!**

**Edward - NoooOOooooooOOOO!!!**

**Rosalie - What cha doing?**

**Me - AAAAAHHHHHHHH! I'm going to make all of your heads explode. (I hold two fingers from each hand to my head and concentrate hard)**

**Carlisle - What cha doing?Edward - don't!!**

**(Jacob's head explodes)**

**Rosalie - Aaaaah, peace at last!!**

**Me - Sorry Nessie**

**Jane - Mwah ha ha now he can be no ones. (she disappears)**

**Edward - Did Jane love Jacob?**

**Esme - I'm confused.**

**Nessie - Oh well, she should have just asked for him, I would have given her him. I never really liked him anyway. It was a pity imprint. **

**Me - I still don't have a disclaimer. (sigh)**

**Emmett - Yes you do.**

**Me - What?**

**Everyone bar me - WHAT CHA DOING?**

**Me - Not owning Twilight or anything you recognize. **

**My littlest sister - Can I have a chocolate chip muffin?**

**(we all stare confused) **

**Onto the story finally…**

"Jasper." called Alice as she searched for her husband. "Edward, have you seen Jasper?"

Edward shakes his head and leans in to kiss Bella. Bella moves out of the way, "I'll help you Alice." Edward sighs and goes off to help his wife and sister find Jasper.

"Jasper!"

"Jazzy!"

Emmett joined the search, "Jasperino!" Edward rolled his eyes.

They looked all over the house for Alice's husband but could not find him anywhere. As Alice grew increasingly worried Rosalie arrived home after a day of shopping. "Alice, have you seen my Chanel purse?"

"Yeh, it's just in my closet."

"What's wrong Alice?" Rose asked as they entered Alice's room.

"Oh, it's just we can't find Jasper anywhere." Rosalie opens Alice's closet and finds sitting in the furthermost corner on a pile of shoeboxes was Jasper. Tears running down his face, his hands gripping a soggy paperback book.

"Everyone!! We've found Jasper!" shouted Rosalie. Within thirty seconds most of the Cullens were standing just inside Alice's closet. Jasper was oblivious to his family watching him.

"I didn't think we could cry."

"Me neither, Emmett." said Edward as he stood confused by his wife but understanding dawned when he read Jasper's mind.

Jasper suddenly breaks into hysterics, "Why did she have to kill off everyone good? I mean Hedwig, his firebolt and Dobby I could almost understand but FRED!!!!" Tears ran down Jasper's pale cheeks.

"What's wrong Jasper?" asked a concerned Esme.

Still Jasper did not recognize his family's presence. "He's reading **Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows.**" said Edward.

A look of terror appears on Bella's face, "Fred… dead… it can't be!" Bella runs to join Jasper crying amongst the shoeboxes.

"HEDWIG!" screams Emmett, bursting into hysterics.

"And then she kills off Tonks and Lupin and even little Colin Creevey."

"Poor Remus." whispers Esme as she lay down and began to weep.

"Dobby, it can't be. I refuse to believe it." shouts Rosalie as she runs off to get Edward's copy of the book. Soon she is back tears welling up in her eyes, her mascara running.

"Oh No. We are the only ones not crying, Alice."

"Wait, did Jasper say Tonks." Edward nods. "Tonks!" cries Alice as she joins the other crying Cullens.

Edward sits down and watches his family cry. 4 hours later, Carlisle arrives home to find nearly the entirety of his family crying. "Harry Potter." Edward nods.

"I mean Colin Creevey." whispers Alice.

"Colin… Creevey…" stutters Carlisle as he turns to tears.


End file.
